There's no such a thing as a happy ending
by ThEwHiTeFeaThErOfThEleAf
Summary: I stood on the middle of my room with big wounds on my arm, blood dripping on the floor and my usually white towel was now stained with red. I feel on the floor. Sitting there in my own personal hell. Sorry suck at summaries.AkatsukiXKiara. With Lemons.
1. Wake up call

When I was writing this story I felt … _empty _... this story pretty much resemble all my "empty" feelings. Oh gush I feel like such an emo now ^^' but just don't kill me if you hate the story ;3

**Malli: DO YOUR THING DEIDEI!!**

**Dei: Don't call be DEIDEI Bitch UN!!**

**Malli: Aw don't be such a meaner ****Deidei **

**Dei: You're worse than Tobi you know that un?**

**Malli: Aw DeiDei! I love you too!! **

**Dei: Ew, just shut up please? Anyways, please R&R and Malli do ****not**** own Naruto or any poems or song lyrics that appear in the story. Malli just owns the character Kiara and some quotes and plots that may appear in the story, explanations will stand on the bottom. And remember R&R please un.**

* * *

_** There's no such a thing as a happy ending**_

_** Chapter I**_

_** Wake up Call**_

_** XxXxXxXxXx**_

_ O weary night, O long and tedious night_

_ Abet thy hours, shine comforts from the east _

_** xXxXxXxXxXx**_

I woke up, I sat up, I walked up to the window. The sun was shining, as to throw it on my face and laughing at me telling me "I'm happy! Something you'll never experience!"

Being happy? That was impossible for someone like me. Because I have never experienced pure happiness, I've seen it but never felt it myself. Sure I've been glad, sometimes I can even say I put a real smile on my face. But not as often as I use the fake ones, that's it...fake … that's what my life is, Fake. Plastic, plastic as to have fake boobs and tell everybody they're real.

**Enough sulking, bend your fucking face off that window and take a cold shower will you! That maybe'll help you wake up!?**

_Yes Inner._

**Stop the Emo stuff and drag your butt to the shower. You have another day to get thru in this fucking huge mansion.**

_Yeah, another day…._

The water was freezing cold, but inner told me to take a cold shower so that I would wake up.

– Ahh, Ni... ccceee! I moaned. The cold water was pouring on my body, slowly hugging my curves and kissing my mussels, sending shivers down my spine. After showering in what seemed like hours but in reality just 5 or 10 minutes I felt slightly refreshed and almost like a new born baby. I stepped out of the shower and walked into my room, but as I did that I passed the whole figure mirror beside my bedroom cabinet and took a minute to see my shivering self. My Silver strands had curled up my back, after meeting with the cold water they were still dripping wet. My feet had left print marks on the vanilla colored carpet. And my usually pale skin had a tint of blue, my deep diamond orbs looked deep and empty as to hide nothing under the beautiful angelic shell. I turned my head to the cabinet disgusted by the sight of myself. You're horrible, look at yourself you're a monster. You're disgusting, ugly, worse than scum.

**Kiara!!! Stop it now! Don't talk yourself into those thoughts.**

But it was too late, I was already shaking, aching after my own blood. I almost jumped on my bed, as I started to throw away pillows and blankets of the bed seeking after what now had become my savior my one and only solution, and there I found it lying under one of my pillows the only one that understood me and took away the mental pain. The razors… Seconds after finding it I stood on the middle of my room with big wounds on my arm, blood dripping on the floor and my usually white towel was now stained with red. I feel on the floor. Sitting there in my own personal hell.

_Just see what happened after they left me! All alone, completely by myself, with nobody, just me and this fucking house! _

**Get up Kira – Chan, pull yourself together and clean your wounds. And throw away those razors. Sure they helped you now but you know that later the pain will come back and then the razors only leave stupid, empty and ugly scars that remember you about the pain. **

_Stop it! I don't need your stupid vise words Inner! I'll clean the wounds alright and I promise this was the last time I cut, this was the last time, no more, I won't cut more, never again. Since I won't cut more, I don't need to through them away._

**Just empty words Kira – Chan. Sure you'll never cut again.**

_So little faith in me Inner? I thought you were supposed to believe in me? Your words utterly and deeply hurt me Inner. _

**You're always hurt Kiara. And I'm tired of this bloody mess you're turning yourself into.**

_I said no more Inner and this time I meant it. No more I promise._

And with those words to my Inner self I wrapped the towel tightly around my body and walked in to the bathroom for the second time this morning to find the first aid kit and shower of the blood.

** XxXxXxXxXxX**

……_**. 1 hour later……**_

After showering off the blood, taking care of the wounds, clothing myself, brushing my teeth, eating breakfast and checking what time it was I figured out that I woke up at 4 O clock this morning and it was just 6 Pm on a Saturday the first day on summer break.

**Three months and 2 ½ weeks, you won't bear thru 4 months alone. You can't even stand a night and you expect yourself to go thru 4 months alone.**

_There goes the trust…_

**Kiara you won't make it without cutting. You know that.**

_We can ask some friends to stay over that should do it._

**Don't know, but let's consider the options.**

_Let's do so inner._

**We can already cross Ino, Sai, Sakura, Sasuke, Naruto and Hinata.**

_Why??_

**Don't you remember? Ino and sai are going to spend their vacations at Sais place in New York. SasuSaku and NaruHina are traveling together to Europe next week to Sasukes summer place in Greece.**

_Yeah that's right I forgot all about it, they even asked if I wanted to go with them..._

**But you said no because??**

_They're couples and I don't want to interrupt when they go all lovelydovley._

**Yeah, so who's next?**

_We still have cutie a few options. There's Ten Ten, Temari, Shikamaru, Shino, Choiji, Neji, Lee, Kiba, Kankuro and Garaa._

**Yeah but I think we can cross Ten Ten and Neji I think there were talking about going to the Hyuga summer house. Or just traveling to London. So we can't count on them then we'll just end up ruining their summer. **

_But then what about Temi and the gang? _

**They're having their concert this summer, we got free tickets remember?**

_Let's just give up!_

That's when it happened _….ring….ring….._One single phone call saved my summer. No. Saved my life.

**XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX **

_ She's gone forever.  
I know when one is dead, and when one lives;  
she's dead as earth._

** XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX**

* * *

I'm Sorry it was so short ^^ The next one will be mutch longer promise for life! (if you want it to be a next one of corse)

**Malli: Whoa! That felt good! Didn't it?**

**Dei: What... Are you talking about un?**

**Malli: Deidei I just made a ****HUGE**** I repeat A ****HUGE**** DISCOVERY!**

**Dei: What un??**

**Malli: I discovered that….. That ….. (Drums playing in the background)….. That……..**

**Dei: Spit it out un!!**

**Malli: Sorry I'm just heating up everything a little get what I'm saying dickless? **

**Dei: You're the one who's talking Miss Billboard chest un.**

**Malli: I've got boobs! Want to feel them? (Leans closer)**

**Dei: No THANK YOU! I see you got Boobs I'm SORRY UN!**

**Malli: That's good, but to the point! My ****HUGE**** I repeat ****HUGE**** DISCOVERY IS! (Drums playing on the background) IIIIISSSSSSSSSSSS!!!**

**THAT DEDARA HAS THE WORLDS BIGGEST STICK SHOVED UP HIS ASS!!**

**Dei: That was your ****HUGE**** discovery un?**

**Malli: (Laughing rolling around the ground) HAHAHAHAHAHAH! WHOA that felt SOO GOOD! DeiDei do your THING!**

**Dei: Whatever un. Please R&R Malli wants at least 10 reviews if you want her to continue this story! And Please I beg you! (Goes down on knees and starts to cry anime style) Please if you don't review I'll be stuck with that ugly witch forever! **

**Malli: (Yells from far away) I HEARD THAT DEIDEI!**

**Dei: Help she's coming back for more of my innocent meat! Please R&R!**

**Malli: (Running After Dei) COME BACK HERE AND FIGHT LIKE A MAN!**

**Both: (Runs out of the room where this conversation took place)**

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_1) The quotes in the beginning and end belongs to William Shakespeare_

_The first one is from A midsummer night's dream __act 3, sc. 2._

_And the second one from King Lear_ _act 5, sc. 3._


	2. You what?

_Okay got some reviews and I appreciate them. But come on people! You know what? I DON'T CARE! No cross that. I do care. And the shit is that I have written 3 chapters that are just laying in my laptop and just waiting to be updated. So if you want me to update faster THEN JASHIN DAMIT REVIEW! I appreciate those lonely reviews I got. And when I saw that at least someone reads my fic I started to write and write and write… and it goes on for hours. So if I don't get more reviews pronto I will delete it. No I won't it's just empty threats and I will continue it either you want me or not! Because I want to continue this fic. And if you don't like something or just want to give tips just tell me, I appreciate your opinions and I'm willing to answer any questions ^^**(Wow Mayor mood swing!)**_

**Malli: Man I like lollipops. ****Does Tobi like lollipops?**

**Tobi: Tobi likes lollipops too Malli – Chan, because Tobi is a good boy!**

**Malli: Yes Tobi is a good boy! Does Tobi think Malli is a good girl Tobi?**

**Tobi: Yes Tobi Thinks Malli – Chan is a good girl!**

**Malli: Thanks Tobi! It warms Mallis heart that you think so! So do your thing Tobi!**

**Tobi: Yes Malli – Chan! Tobi will do so because Tobi's a good boy! Malli – Chan does ****NOT ****own Naruto! Or any poems or song lyrics that may appear in the fic! Malli – Chan only owns the character Kiara and some plots and poems that may appear in the fic! Please R&R because Malli – Chan likes to hurt Deidara – Senpai every time she sees that she don't get reviews. And that scares Tobi because Tobi's a good boy!**

* * *

_** There's no such a thing as a happy ending**_

_** Chapter II**_

_** The phone call**_

_** XxXxXxXxXxXxX**_

_ When you depart from me, _

_ Sorrow abides, _

_ And happiness takes his leave._

_** XxXxXxXxXxXxX**_

* * *

_Ring…..ring….ring….._ I froze. Who would call at 6 am? I ran upstairs and hurried to my room.

_Ring…ring…._

- Where is it!

_**Don't know Kira – Chan? Look under the bed, maybe it feel out when you went all crazy?**_

_Groan... No not under the bed!_

I could hear it. It was under the bed. _Ring….ring….ring…. _I stood there and stared at the big queen size bed. The white net was falling like cascades from the selling and on the bed laid at least 4 dark blue middle sized pillows and 2 more baby blue small sized pillows and silver colored cowers. The bed theme was Silver, Baby blue and dark midnight blue colors. On the floor laid 7 or 9 more pillows the same colors as the bed and the blankets laid in knuckles on the bed.

_Huh! _I shacked my head. _**No time to clean now! We have to get to that damn cell phone!**_

_Ring…ring...ring! _The signals were getting annoying. I threw myself under the bed and started to pull my way thru boxes and dust bunnies, and there it was. The shining little light from my phone. I stretched out my arm, and ones again my phone was in my position! _Haha finally! Ouch!_I hit my head on the bed frame.

_Ring….ring…ring…_

I had finally pulled myself out from the dust bunny graveyard, and had thrown myself on the bed.

_- Hello! Who is it?_

**- Aw Kira – Chan! Don't you remember me un! I'm HURT un! **_A familiar voice stated from the phone._

_- No seriously. Who is it? _I asked.

**- You seriously don't remember me un! When was the last time we saw each other? Like 3 months ago un? **The voice said. That's when it came to me.

_- O MY FUCKING JASHIN! IT'S YOU DEIDEI!_

_**- Jashin? Who said Jashin?**_A voice in the background said_._

**- Finally you remembered me sister un! **Deidara happily said.

_- Who was that? You have the speakers on? And yeah, of course I remember you Brother!_

_**- It was me bitch! Hidan of the fucking Akatsuki! But to the point bitch! Do you follow the great Lord Jashin?**__"_Hidan" said.

_- Of course I do! And don't call me bitch asshole! _I was angry now, he had taken Deidara from the phone.

_**- Hidan. Shut up and let Deidara go. **_A husky and calm voice said.

_**- Can Tobi talk with girl in the phone Deidara – Senpai? Cause Tobi's a good boy! **_A child?

_**- You guys are crazy! Kakuzu, give me money so I can go and buy sake. **_Who were these guys! And where was Deidei? This guy didn't even sound sober.

_**- No. Too expensive. **_The husky voice answered.

_**- Hn. **_

_- Wait! That Hn was familiar! Is that you Sasuke?_

_**- No. I'm Itachi.**_

_- Yeah you're Sasukes older brother right?_

_**- Aa.**_

_- Just as talkative as Sasuke..._

_**- Let her be Itachi, you're just gona poison her mind un! **_Yeah Deidei was back!

_**- Like you're…hic…better company...hic...Deidei...Hic...**_Who gets drunk at 6 am?

_**- Lol Kisame. **_A bored voice stated.

_**- You're the one to...hic…talk …hic…Sasori. **_The drunkling said.

_**- Everyone shut up, we called the girl for a reason didn't we Deidara? **_Another voice said.

_**- Yeah that's right Kiara. I called you to ask you a favor un.**_

_- You know you can ask me for anything Dei – Kun, you just have to ask. _I was happy he even called me. His phone calls were so rear now days.

_**- You know you're an angel Kira – Chan. But the shit is, that you know, Hidan just had to get in trouble with some "friends" and then his "friends" got angry and decided to burn down our Akatsuki HQ. And that's not it, all of our things are burned un! **_JASHIN! This guy surely had god "friends"!

_- But shit Dei! You should've called me as fast as it happened! Where are you guys staying now?_

_**- Bitch we are staying at a hotel for the main time, but Kakuzu decided to go cheap so we have to chair rooms.**_

_- You fucking morrons! When i say "You can ask me for anything" I MEAN IT! Idiots!_

_- **Shut up bitch! Your fucking giving me a headache! The said.**_

_**- Oh JASHIN! If you could hear my thoughts right now you pussy!**_

_**- What digh!.mm.m!... You could hear the smashing and cursing on the other line. **_

_- So Kiri - chan! Where were we? Deidara said. _

_- Yeah that's right! When are you guys coming? _I asked. I knew what was coming next. Denial.

_**- What do you mean by that? **_He asked.

_- You guys are staying at my place. I can't just leave you there! _It's true, I certainly couldn't just leave him on the street or in some old and smelly inn.

_**- Kiara wait. You don't know what you're doing. Un.**_

_- Yes I do. You mean inviting 8 or 9 men in my house? Or the part where I'm inviting 8 or 9 __homeless __men in my house?_

_**- You seem to understand what you were just now offering us. But com on Kiara! Witch house are you staying at?**_

_- I'm staying at the big white house in Palm Bay in Florida. You know the house where my parents used to live in. _

- All the memories hit me like a hurricane. Those days when we were just kids and no photo shots, goo sees or catwalks. Just me and Deidei.

_**- Kiara, your parents had like 3 big mansions in Palm Bay. How am I supposed to know which one?**_

_- You know! The one with the rose gardens! You guys are actually doing me a big favor if you come and live with me. It's too big and lonely and I don't know how much more I can resist the urge to just grab my things and run away from here!_

_**- Then why did you even move in there? Even with company that place always scared the shit out of me un!**_

_- I had no choice! Devil brothers kicked me out three days after my 16__th__ birthday! The like "You're 16 now, you can take care of yourself." And I got all this papers, but all I understand of it is that I get my part of the heritage. And what the fuck am I supposed to do with more money! I already have enough to support 20000 people and still live like a queen! _

_- I can't stand it here Deidei! It's just to fringing lonely! I've actually considered moving back with my brothers again and you know that the situations must be like life threatening to make even consider that shit!_

_**- Fuck Kiara, did you actually consider that? That's just fucking wrong.**_

_- Yeah! I know! But what ells am I supposed to do? I'm so fucking lonely for Jashins sake! You know I can't stand to be alone; I get al sugar high and drink wine like a maniac. _

_- Sasuke, Naruto and Sakura have been like taking turns to watch me so I don't do anything crazy. I have had like robbers all the time, they do not even care that not asleep and go in here. So you know like last month I was in the kitchen to take a late drink when I heard steps in the hallway. So I was on my way to open the door to see who it was when the door like bolts open and this fucking guy comes in with a black hoddie and a crowbar! And like smacks me in head and so that I fall on my ass! I get up and start to crawl away and then I see the fire alarm so I push the fire alarm and when they heard it, they just drop everything and run away. When the fire truck arrived, Saku and the girls noticed that I've had robbers and called my brothers. And they like "take better care of yourself or you'll have to move back with us"._

_**- YOU HAD ROBBERS! **_He exclamed, just as if he'd never heard of such thing as robbers.

_- That's beside the point. But can't you get it! They actually told my brothers! _By that point i reggreted that i even had brought up the thing about the robbers, because i knew i would get a hard time getting him to let go of that.

_**- That's just fucking mean! But you know, it's not me who decides if we get to move in with you or not. It's leader – Sama who decides, so you'll have to discuss this shit with him. **_Puh! Saved!

_- Then what the fuck are you waiting for! Put the guy on the fucking phone!_

_**- Sure kiri – Chan "Laughter" Here leader – Sama. **_He sounded about as exated as me. About the same as a little girl waiting for her mom to buy her a loilipop.

_**- Hello? You must be Kiara – San right? **_A rather dark but stil maskuline and a bit amused voice asked.

_- Yeah. And you must be the so famous "Leader – Sama"? _I felt veird and a bit uncomfortable. Why did i feel uncomfortable! I had never even met the guy!

- "_**Chuckles" Yeah that's a way to put it, but feel free to call me Pein or Pein – Sama if you feel that suits better. **_Oh jashin! My legs felt like gelly! And i wasn't even standing up! If his voice could make me feel like this, then what vould his body make me feel like? I didn't even dare to think futher on!

_- Laughter... Yeah okay "Pein – Kun"… "giggle"… Shall we talk about the current conversation shall we?_

_**- Of course. Deidara seems to be quite fond with you? **_

_- Yeah when Deidei was like 4 years? I think. His parents died and they had but my parents I charge of him so we practically grew up together. But when I was 15 my parents died in a plane crash so my brothers took care of me instead. Deidei moved out and well I can't really blame him, I actually begged on my bare knees for him to take me with him, but my brothers dragged me away anyways. And well you've probably heard the rest, I got thrown out short after my 16__th__ B – day and I have lived alone here for 8 months now._

**- I understand. But the question is "do you understand what you're getting yourself into?" **Stupid question, of course i didn't!

_- Pein, I do. Like I said before, you guys are actually doing me a big favor if you stay with me. I've got enough money and space for you to live on. And the knowledge that I'm helping someone is reward enough for me._

**- Then congrats Kiara – Chan, you'd just put the whole Akatsuki on your hands. **Haha as if a bunch of boys would scare me!

_- Scarryyy… giggles… _

**- Yeah, you should be scared. Because you know the Akatsuki isn't on the best side of the lav. **Ha! Did he really think i was sceard of their record?

_- Of course not! I'm not ether. I've spent my time in juvi. _

**- You? A pretty little girl like you? Spent time in juvi! Haha you must be kidding me. **Did i really sound THAT naive!

_- No it's true, but I spent a relative short time for what I did. _Jashin Pein sounds sooo smexxyyy!

**- My my, so what did you do? You've made me curious. **Was he.. Flirting with me! Jashin! He was!

_- "giggles"… You don't want to know. Believe me._ Really he didn't!

**- No please. I do want to know. **Jashin! The guy was pushing it!

_- Okay, you begged for it. I… I…_I suddenly felt a big lump in my throat. If I told them they would just get scared or just think I were some kind of pervert.

_**- What is it Kira – Chan? What could a sweet little girl like you do, that is so frightening that you don't even can bring yourself to tell us? **_Pein said. The guy was getting to me and if I didn't act fast he would descend me.

_**- Tobi wants to know too!**_ Not another one! Poor innocent boy, I would probably scare the shit out of him!

_**- Yeah! What did you do your little bitch? **_How dare he! Oh Jashin he was just begging me to tell him!

**- Chuckle, yeah what did you do kitten? **Jashin give me mercy over this boys!

_**- Hn, tell us. **_The uchiha bastard said.

_- I... I…"gulp" I.._

**- Come on kitten! Tell us. **This guy was annoying me and i hadn't even met him!

_- I... I castrated a man…"_ It suddenly went quiet on the other line. And I could almost hear the stares of disbelief.

- "_**Gulp" … You what? **_They said in union. But it sounded more like a whisper.

- _You. Heard. Me. I. Castrated. A. Man. _I said it! And man it felt good!

* * *

_ Sorrow breaks seasons and reposing hours,__  
Makes the night morning and the noontide night._

* * *

**Oki I want to make this quick he he ^^ **

**This chapi is called "The call" ironic isn't it? But yeah the Akatsuki calls Kiara because their HQ a.k.a. "Headquarter" was burned down by Hidans "Friends" and also this chapter I brought a lot of Kiaras and Deideis past out as they grew up together but they see each other as BFs not as Brother and Sister as you may think when they talk to each other on the phone. And as you may have noticed Kiaras brothers are real assholes. And what about Kiara castrating a guy? Haha! It's not what you think! Really. But you'll get more info about it in the next chap, and when that chap comes out is totally up to you guys^^. I'll torture you at least a week if I don't get more review within the next 24 hours. So I promise I'll update faster from now on if you readers (if there are any) promise to review! So I'll call it a deal. I don't want any further questions about ages or names so I'll write them down ^^.**

**Kiara Yukite 16 (I'll only write down her last name because I'm too lazy to write down the others^^)**

**Deidara 18 **

**Pein 24**

**Sasori 18**

**Itachi 19**

**Kisame 20**

**Zetsu 19**

**Hidan 18**

**Kakuzu 25**

**Tobi 17**

**Kelian 19 (Kiaras older brother)**

**Kiria 19 (Kiaras older brother, and yes he and Kelian are twins)**

* * *

**Quotes belongs to William Shakespeare **

_1) Much ado about nothing act 1 scen 1_

_2) Richard III act 1 scen 4_


	3. Save me please

This chapter I divided in 2 parts because I didn't want to break my chapi rule! The chapi rule is that I have to write all chapters with almost the same amount of words^^ So if I write a chapter with 2500 words then the other chapters must contain the same amount of letters^^. But I'll make this one short because I just feel like a big chapi with lots of reviews is going on! So be nice little boys and girls and review will ya? And another great thanks to those who review!

* * *

_ There's no such a thing as a happy ending_

_ Chapter III_

_ Save me… Please_

** XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX **

_ Save me the lies and tell me the truth_

_ Even if it'll hurt, _

_ And even if you'll have to kill me afterwards _

** XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX **

_-_I... I castrated a man…" _It suddenly went quiet on the other line. And I could almost hear the stares of disbelief._

**-"Gulp" … You what?**_They said in union. But it sounded more like a whisper._

_-_You. Heard. Me. I. Castrated. A. Man. _I said and man it felt good!_

* * *

**-Deidara, you bitch. She's kidding right? RIGHT? **_Hahaha! Wow! The dude didn't believe me!_

-Sorry Hidan, but I was the one to bail her out of jail. But she got 7 months in juvi for kicking one of the guards in the balls un "He he". _Deidei said. _

_- _**My my. Who knew that she had it in her? "Chuckle". **_OMFJ! How can a guy have such a hot voice, because I'm melting!_

_-Okay boys, enough of this bullshit. If you guys are staying at my place I'll have to know how many you are so I can buy you your tickets. And I'll need your bank account so I can deposit you some money. _It felt weird, weird to foolish those guys into thinking I was THAT kind of girl, the kind of girl who always smiled happily to everyone and everything, because I weren't , and I just hopped that they wouldn't see through my happily façade. Because if they did I would never get away with it.

**-KIARA! Kiri – Chan ….. Is there anybody there! Hello… earth to Kirimi un?**

_-Ops! Sorry Deidei! I kind of spaced out, but where were we! _I had always suspected that Deidara saw right through me, that he knew… Knew that I was hurting more than I wanted to admit and that I was bleeding. Bleeding so much that my clothes were soakt right through, with blood dropping like rivers and that nobody ever saw it… Saw me bleeding.

-** Ehm okay. But we are 9, 9 guys. I think. Wait its Pain, Hidan, Kisame, Itachi, Me, Sasori, Kakuzu, Zetsu and Tobi so we are. One...Two... Four. Six…Eight, Nine right Nine! Haha un! **

_- Not that many. I think I can handle it. _Of course I it weren't just this nagging feeling in my heart.

**- Kirimi, Kakuzu said that he would send everything to you by mail. So you won't need to worry un. **I could feel the waves o depression washing over me and ones I again I felt overwhelm by the burning ache in my heart and soul.

-_Okay honey. But then you guys have everything under control right? Tell your friend Kakuzu that I'll be expecting all the info by tonight and we'll talk further about it then with your "leader – sama" ok?_ Oh please! Why can't this pain ever end! I could feel cold tears falling from my eyes and the pain slowly rising by every second.

-**Yeah I'll tell him that un. But please Kirimi be careful till we get there ok? I don't want to arrive there only to be welcomed by the sight of you in a wheelchair un. **My Dei – Kun overprotective as always but I couldn't help but feel bad of the empty promises I were about to tell him.

_-Of course Dei! I'm always 110% careful! _I said with a fake laughter. Another wave of anguish and overwhelming pain.

-**Yeah sure you are un.** He said with a clear tone filled with sarcasm.

-_Alright but honey I got to go now_. The pain rising by every second. _But you'll call me later right? _The pain… And the need of stopping it grooving.

_- _**Of course un!**He said with a cheer_._** I'll see you soon Kiri – Chan! **How? How can he always be so damn Happy 24/7!

_- Yeah of course baby I'll see you soon. _I said with a fake cheerful smile.

**-Bye un.** He said.

_-Bye…_ I hung up. _Blip, blip, blip….. _

The desperate need. The panic slowly rising giving me the chock of my life. I started to hyperventilate.

_-Huh. Huh... ah… aa. Huh… huh. Ah… huh. The _pain… It needed an end. I...I needed to end it. With hurt... Jashin! But how! Panic, the desperate need of physical pain. Something_! _

_**KIRI – CHAN! Put yourself together! You promised! No more!**_

_Shut the hell up INNER! _By this point the panic and anguish had hit me so hard that I had went out of my room and was now running in the hallway but stopped abruptly when I met the stairs.

_Stairs. The thought was like a gift to me._

_**No. Not that. You could die. It's too dangerous. **_

_No one will ever know or figure it out. I'll just say I fell…_

I took a step forward.

_**No. You're stupid as hell if you take one step more.**_

_Then I'll be stupid as hell then. _Another step.

_**STOP! Didn't you hear me! You could die!**_

_Then let me die. _Another step.

_**Kiara! No! Come on! It's not funny anymore!**_

_I'm not joking. _One… no… two steps forward. I'm just 3 feet away, soon it'll end. Soon.

_**Please I'm begging you! Don't do this!**_

_Why Inner? Just because if I die you'll die with me? I was a fool to even think you were my friend._Another step. Just about 1 feet from my own nirvana.

_**Please Kiara! I am your friend! I'm doing this for your sake not mine!**_

_Of course you are._I took I giant leap forwards and feel.

_Bump. Bump. Bump… _crack! A rib._ Bump. Bump. Bump. _Crack! My left arm_. Bump. Bump. Bump. Bump. Bump. _And with a big_ SMASH! _I landed on the hardwood floor_. And there I laid sprayed on the floor with a big puddle of blood gathering beneath me._ Blood slipping through my lips as I started too caught up. I tried to stand up but failed miserably and started to crawl my way to the wall and sat against it. My body had left a big blood trail from the middle of the stairs to the puddle and pointing the rest of the trail towards my direction. Inner was gone. And it was a mere miracle that I still was conscious. I took support from the wall and started to slowly raise myself up. I'd just done what I promised Deidara that I wouldn't. But it was worth it. The pain was gone erased by another simpler one that was much easier to handle. My vision was clouded by blood dripping from my head. I raised my hand to my left temple only to feel rivers of pain shooting through my body from the said spot. My vision went blurry.

_-I must've hit my head pretty bad_. I thought out loud to myself. I decided that I couldn't just stand there bleeding so I went to find Joe.

**(A/N Joe is just the gardener, he takes care of the rose garden and has worked in that house since Kiara was born.)**

_-"caught" J...Joe…. _I tried to scream but it was almost not even noticeable.

_-"Caught"..."caught"… Joee..._ Ones again barley a whisper.

I took a firm grip on the wall and tried to stand by myself again but fell like a sack potatoes on the floor. I tried to crawl my way to the big panorama doors. I passed the leather sofa and the small glass cafe table in the living room, leaving big bloodspots on the vanilla colored designer carpet. Soon I reached my goal and put a bloodied hand on the panorama door only to leave a bloodied handprint on it. He was trimming the tea rose bushes in the front garden. It didn't take long before the chock appeared in Joes face and he dropped the clippers and came running towards my direction.

-**KIARA – CHAN!** He called with a worried expression on he's face.

I had rolled myself into a ball and was trying to think happy thoughts when I felt two strong hands grip my waist and carry me bridal style. He laid me on the couch and sat beside me.

**-Kiara – chan... Kiara – Chan. Are you still alive?** He asked as he placed a big hand on my check.

_-"Caught"…"caught" … J...Jooee?_ I said with a fake smile as I tried to reopen my eyes but couldn't.

**-Kiara-Chan what happened? How did this happen? Did you hurt yourself again?** He said. I knew that Joe knew. I couldn't keep it a secret for that long for a person who has known me since I was born. We never talked about it. But every time I lied to him and said that I had been clumsy and fallen or accidentally hurt myself he saw through me. He told me he knew but I would always deny it.

_-"cough" I…I fell..."cough"..."cough" Dow...n...nn. The s...tai...r...Ss…"cough"…"cough"…"cough". _I knew that he knew that I was lying but that he wouldn't push it further. I must have looked like hell to quiet down a guy like Joe. Pure mussel that's what he were, pure mussels, the guy didn't look like a day over 25 even thou he was in his early 40s.

_-Don...t..."cough"...call...my brothers..."Cough"…"cough"...please._ I begged, I knew that he would not do it in the state I was in.

_**-I won't. I won't, but I must call an ambulance, I don't want little kiri – Chan to bleed to death alright? And please don't speak more kirimi! You must save your strength**_. I nodded. He was right. I was very weak right then and wasting my last strength talking wouldn't help me recover. He started to look around after a phone. But I knew that he wouldn't find one because the only phone in the house was mine and I had left it upstairs.

_-Jooee...ee. "Cough" my...phone's... up...s...tairss..._ I said. I had a very hard time breathing, and that didn't improve my abilities to speak. I had to tell him not too call Deidei, he would just freak out if he were to know about this. I was bleeding from my head, mouth, arm, leg and my right side. I was already feeling dizzy from the blood loss and had at least two broken bones, and I was pretty sure that one of my ribs was puncturing my lung. That would've explained why I couldn't breathe properly.

I heard some mumbling upstairs something about "stairs" and "blood everywhere" and then something that sounded like "covered by it" and then a few words I couldn't really make out and a quick "thank you" and "good bye". Someone running in the hallways towards the living area and kitchen some slippery steps in the bloodied stairs and a "thump!" when I felt some pressure on the sofa next to my feet.

**-Kiara?** Joe asked. I knew he was worrying about me but there was no need to.

_-Mm_? I answered.

**-Can you open your eyes?** He asked.

_-"cough"...Not really. "Cough" "cough"._ I had tried to open my eyes at least a dozen times within the next five minutes but had failed every time, they were as heavy as rocks.

_- I...I... need you to…"cough"..."cough""..."cough"... call Sakura..."cough".."Cough" and Te...ll... He...r. too call... Dei...da...ra and he'll..."cough"..."cough"..."Cough" explain the... rees..t. all...righh...t?_ I said and hoped that he would understand at least some of what I was trying to tell him.

-**Yes I understand but please "shush" now! You need to rest!** He said but no I needed to tell him this.

_-Noo...o...listen to...m...eee." cough"..."cough" Tell her to...N...oot. Te...ll hii...mm aboo...utt... mee... fall...innggg… all...right?"cough" ..."cough"..."cough"..."cough"_

-**Alright, Alright I'll tell her but please rest now! You have to rest! **He really was desperate to get me to rest but I wouldn't give up until I had his word about it.

-_Pr...oommissse! Promise!_ I don't know how but with pure will power I managed to open my eyes and pine him with them.

**-I promise. You have my word that I'll tell her!** He said and I had no other choice then believe him. I reclosed my eyes and soon enough I could feel myself fall into unconsciousness. The last thing I heard was Joe telling me to stay awake and the shouting sounds of an ambulance coming closer before my world faded into compact darkness.

** XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX**

_I'm walking down the shore on a sunny day_

_Lost in thoughts about butterflies_

_Dancing among the yellow – green trees_

_Gracefully and quietly_

_I spot them everywhere round my mind_

_In the corners, upstairs in the basement_

_Surrounding me like a sea of colors_

_I wake up…_

_I am back at the beach_

_Leaning against a tree_

_The sky covered by clouds in every shape and form_

_But there I spot it_

_Dancing on the grass covered slope _

_A lopsided smile_

_A quiet laughter_

_A lonely butterfly _

** XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx**

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So ehm hehe ^^ This chapter Is my absolute favorite chapter! Hope it's yours too! If there are any questions just review and I'll answer them! SO please R&R! And I'll update soon enough! ^^

1) I wrote that one

2) I wrote it too ^^


	4. Just a lonely poem

**This is just a poem I had to write. It was bugging me so I don't really care if it's good, bad or sad. I just wrote it down so I could get it over with ^^. These last few days have been really depressing for me. My mom got sick and tomorrow's the last day in school I always get depressed when it comes to this point. So many faces I will never see again… And my fucking hormones went al crazy like a couple of months ago,(A/N I curse those fuckers to hell) and got this huge fucking crush on this guy in school and I want to tell him but I'm too fucking coward to tell him and get it over with! It's not like I've got something to lose right? But enough of this bullshit let's move on to the poem! ^^**

* * *

_I had a dream_

_It scared me_

_I screamed_

_But you didn't help me_

_I asked for pity_

_But you didn't budge_

_I asked for attention_

_But you didn't acknowledge me_

_I bleed _

_But you didn't cure me_

_I screamed for help _

_But you didn't save me…_

_Darling save me I said_

_But you laughed and hit me_

_I asked why_

_But you hit me I again_

_I screamed for pity_

_But then you kissed me_

_I slapped you_

_But then you hit me_

_How come my nights be so painful? _

_Darling please save. _

_The twilight scares me._

_I hate the god who makes day, night. _

_I hate the moon when it reaches for the sky._

_Darling please kill me_

_It hurts to much_

_Darling please take my life_

_It's yours to do as you please_

_I don't want it_

_Darling please don't hit me_

_Darling please kill me_

_It hurts enough already_

_Darling don't laugh _

_It scares me_

_Darling please wake me up_

_I love you _

_You laughed _

_I love you_

_You kicked me_

_I love you _

_You slapped me_

_I love you_

_You killed me._

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**Ehm… You can interpret it as you want. It's about Kiaras nightmares. And you'll get to know about the guy in later chapters ^^. The next chapter will be up in 48 hours. Please R&R. It would mean a lot to my weak and lonely heart ^^.**


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